


Helpless

by courageousfuck



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7079152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courageousfuck/pseuds/courageousfuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Penelope straightens Simon's hair. Baz's reaction and cuteness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and sweet. I wrote it rather speedily, so I apologise in advance for any imperfections. Do enjoy, and please leave comments as they make my day!

I walk into the flat, only to instantly register some exceedingly suspicious signs. First and foremost being that it is alarmingly barren for any place in which Simon Snow inhabits – normally he’d take up all your vision with his ridiculous (read: ridiculously adorable) wings and tail and bright bronze curls. But not today.

I see nothing, and am just about to call out when I hear a loud crash from the vicinity of Simon’s room. I am already at the door when I stop in my tracks: is that Bunce’s laughter I hear? And that must be Simon crashing about like a lunatic, as per usual.

“Penny, what have you done?!” I hear Simon bemoaning from behind the door.

Penny is cackling now, barely able to breathe by the sounds of her gasping for air. “I… Nicks and Slicks, Simon!” More giggling ensues. “I may have _possibly_ straightened your hair while you were sleeping –”she attempts to cut through his protests “– I mean… you’re a heavy sleeper and I was just curious as to how it would look! And you have to admit, it’s quite hilar –”

“Yeah, so funny, Pen! I can hardly breathe from laughing!” Simon interrupts, although a barely-concealed snort of laughter manages to escape him in spite of his sarcasm.

“Imagine Baz’s face,” Penny chuckles. “He’s going to have a field day with this one!”

“Shit! Penny! Baz can’t see me like this, he’ll probably break up with me!”

Her reply is laconic. “I’m positive he will not, Simon. In fact, I’d think he’d be grateful.”

“Wha- why would he be grateful?”

“Well, when he’s ‘running his hand through your locks’, et cetera, at least they won’t get stuck halfway through.” I can almost hear her grinning. If I had fed, I would be blushing though, because… well. She’s right, to a point. 

“He will! He definitely will! Or he’ll think I’m stupid anyway.” He’s clearly working himself into an unnecessary state. “I mean, look at me! I look like – like – Paul McCartney in the sixties! It’s a bowl cut! I shave it off every bloody year, only for it to grow into a _natural bowl cut!_ ”

It is the general idea to put him out of his misery that has me opening the door. Or maybe it’s just sadistic curiosity. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

At first I just see a violent shock of neon pink hair that covers most of a giggling Bunce’s frame. She startles and jumps up to face me at the sudden noise of my entrance into their little scene.

“Basilton, why do you still have a key to our flat? Must you always insist on lodging here day and night? I’m going to have you pay rent, I swear I will!” She warns me, however her threats don’t exactly have much of an effect on me while I am busy focusing on the shooing motions she is making towards the bathroom at Simon, who is quite clearly hiding behind her. I glance up, buffering Bunce’s attempts at distractions away as I see –

Good grief. Good _grief_.

I start to laugh, uncontrollably, hysterically, at the state of his hair. Crowley, what has Bunce created?

A sheepish Simon is frozen between the bed and the bathroom, stood stock still; staring at me with a demeanour not dissimilar to a (rightfully) paranoid deer I once caught and drained. Or at least with an emotion that I have to assume is terror, considering I cannot actually see his eyes very well at all, them being covered with a mop of bronze locks, straight all the way round; falling in sections of shining gold that bounce, buoyant below his ears.

He reanimates, shaking his hair to try at some visibility, however it just shifts helplessly about his forehead. He scrabbles with his fingers, clawing his hair back off his ruddy-cheeked face. I finally find his blue, blue eyes, darting over me nervously, flickering with embarrassment.

I know I should be focusing on how utterly bizarre he looks, but all I can think about is how on _earth_ he can still be so very, very attractive. The Gods must have made me exorbitantly weak for Simon Snow somewhere in my genetic makeup, for why do I still want to kiss his stupid face when there is hair covering him halfway down to his nose? I am there in seconds, trying to push back his hair, soothing his insecurities with a playful kiss on the tip of his upturned nose, the first thing visible under his mop of hair. Because I’m weak, and I love him.

“Simon, love,” I murmur gently, the urge to tease him overpowering my concern. “What have you done to yourself this time?”

He reddens even further, protesting loudly. “It was Penny! She did it when I was asleep! I’m an innocent victim in this whole –”

I roll my eyes at his histrionics. “It’s fine. I’ve got a hairband, you can use it to keep it out the way for now.”

He flushes more deeply still, before nodding assent. Pauses. “Can you put it up for me? I’m crap at that kind of stuff,” he explains hastily, and I agree in my amusement, dragging him over to the bed, patting at the empty space next to me.

“Sure. Sit down – no, not on my lap! – turn around. There we go, let me just – oh, for goodness sake, Snow, is there any chance you could _not_ shiver just because I touched your neck? Don’t be so – no, that is _not_ an excuse to touch _my_ neck! Fuck off!”

He decidedly _doesn’t_ fuck off, instead leaving his fingers to trail down an erogenous area under my ear. It’s my turn to shiver then, before shoving him off me, non-too gently.

Simon Snow looks far too delicious in a top knot.


End file.
